Leap Of Faith

Doing something new always scares me. I remember in the fourth grade, I walked into Mrs. Modica's class and was so startled by her appearance and discombobulated by the new environment that I neglected to read her instructions on the blackboard and committed the faux pas of sitting at the back table where my name card rested. I was humiliated at being called out by this giant woman, dressed all in black and purple, huge black beehive perched atop her giant head, shocking emerald shadowed eyes blinking at me in consternation, multiple layers of crimson lipstick admonishing me to "read the instructions" which explained that each student should take his or her name-tag from the back table and choose a seat. I was overwhelmed by this teacher's appearance, she must have measured six foot two and weighed at least two hundred fifty pounds, a linebacker in a dress. Her hair alone was enough to strike fear in the heart of any trick-or-treater, Bride of Frankenstein step aside. Panicked at my first misstep, I grabbed my name card and sat at the desk nearest the back table so nobody would notice me. Turns out Mrs. Modica was one of my favorite teachers, kind and informative, smart and supportive. But I had relegated myself to the back of the classroom for the whole first semester because of those first minutes of fourth grade.

My life has been punctuated by similar events. Sometimes, I end up doing a thing by default because my first fearful steps put me on a path and I remain on the path pushed along by the inertia of fear and self-consciousness.

Today I decided to take a wild leap off the path into the great unknown. I sent a submission for "Night of Grace" to an agent who is opening his inbox for unpublished authors. Kevin Kaiser is the agent for New York Time's Bestselling Author Ted Dekker whose books I've enjoyed over the past few years. This summer, while reading one of the books, maybe Adam, maybe Showdown, I thought, "This guy's agent could wrap his mind around the strangeness of Grace." So, for the umpteenth time I sent an email to an agent and after countless automated replies from others, he sent me my first actual response. He informed me about this opportunity coming up for unpublished authors. Exciting and suddenly terrifying, contact had been made and the realness made it very scary. What if I do the wrong thing? What if he hates the book? What if I fail? I've decided that I'm not going to let Grace get stuck at the back table for the rest of her fourth grade year just because I'm afraid that somebody will look at me cross-eyed.

On the way, I thought I'd pass the word about this opportunity, for anybody who has a suspenseful thriller of a manuscript hiding in a dusty drawer. One day only, the opportunity begins and ends today.