Home Grown Terrorism

Today I am betwixt and between two forms of laziness: a Lost marathon which is getting my family game ready for the Series Ending Season coming up on February 2 and the Jets' game (Go Jets!). Translation: my derriere is essentially soldered to the sofa. Unfortunately sometimes nature calls. Even more unfortunately when I went to answer her call, the sign said "Occupado". Seeing as I had already disengaged my lazy bones from the couch, I thought I'd better clean up the breakfast dishes. After all, our daughters had been so kind as to prepare breakfast, the least I could do was clean them up. As I was cleaning, I discovered a pan from last night's roasted chicken hiding out in the oven (don't you judge me) Needless to say, the marinade of soy, oyster sauce, balsamic vinegar and spice was soldered more closely to the sides of the Pyrex pan than my behind to the couch.

Here's a Hint from Heloise: Fill a severely scalded pot with water and some dish soap, set it to a boil and allow the debris to soften and naturally fall away from the pot. I didn't see any reason this practice should not be extended to the Pyrex pan. Pyrex is supposed to be indestructible is it not? So, I filled the pan with water and dish soap and placed it across two gas burners on my stove and turned on the flame. As I let the water begin to boil, the bathroom finally became "Vacant". Blessed relief. Just as I shut the bathroom door behind myself I heard a loud explosion in the kitchen. Oddly, I knew exactly what had happened.

A few things:

1. Good thing I went to the bathroom at that exact moment. The blast radius was at least four feet. I am not sure of the force with which the glass shards flew across the kitchen but I am picturing myself standing at the sink with stalactites of pyrex sticking out of my back. (I suppose neither stalactites nor stalagmites would be correct but I don't know the term for a sideways formation. I should ask Superman. What with the Fortress of Solitude and all, he must be an expert)

2. I've never been so pleased that everyone in my house is a veritable underachiever in the cleaning department. This translates into nobody else being in the kitchen at the time of blast. Thank You, God. Literally.

3. I was pleased with my quick thinking in recording the disaster. Last time I had a disaster I wanted to blog about, I cleaned up too quickly and only had remnants to record.

4. What a bummer that all this gloriously broken glass came from a pyrex pan. Given my penchant for redeeming broken parts for a new creation, you'd think I'd be thrilled with all that new material. But I don't care for clear glass, it just has no character if you ask me. My mind began to change as I cleaned up the blast site, piece by piece. Some of the chunks of glass were just too beautifully patterned from the stress of heat to throw away. Score.

5. One kitchen terror disaster = one more blog. Thank you Pyrex

6. The Jets won! GO JETS!